Wardrobe Wars: Teens and Clothing Choice
Look inside your daughter’s favorite magazine, watch her favorite TV show or take a trip to the mall and you’ll notice that most teenage girls’ clothing is small, tight, short and surprisingly revealing. Sure it’s summertime, but this may be a little much. Read on to learn how you can address your daughter’s wardrobe choices and the issues behind them.
Q. Why do girls dress this way? A. It’s simple – it’s how they see other girls their age dressing every day. Female celebrities as young as 13 years old are packaged and marketed in an overtly sexual way. It’s only natural for the typical teenage girl to think she is expected to look, act and dress as they do.
Q. So how can I tactfully teach my teenage daughter that wearing revealing clothing could send the wrong message to those around her? A. Tell her that dressing this way makes it seem that her body is her greatest asset, instead of her mind, heart and personality. Let her know that she’s smart, kind and funny – so much more than just a pretty girl – but that dressing inappropriately makes it harder for people to see what’s on the inside, and that’s what really counts.
Q. The clothes she picks out and the clothes I pick out for her are completely different. How can we come to a compromise? A. Set clear boundaries before you go shopping together. Explicitly say to her, for example, “We’re not buying anything with inappropriate words or sayings on it.” If she knows in advance that you disapprove of specific types of clothing, she’ll know not to pick them out or try them on. Be consistent with these guidelines, but don’t abuse your boundary-setting power. You may not like the color or style of the clothing she chooses to wear, but so long as it fits within your criteria for appropriate clothing, it’s important to let her express herself through fashion.
Q. Since I’m her mom and not some teen celebrity, my clothes don’t really have an effect on what she wears, right? A. Not necessarily. The clothing you wear directly affects your daughter’s sense of modesty. Put your own wardrobe under the scrutiny that you put on your daughter’s wardrobe. For the most part, what you find in your closet should set an example for your daughter.
Fashion is supposed to be fun for girls of all ages – it’s a great way for them to express who they are. Just be sure that your daughter understands that it’s her content, not her packaging, that matters most.
If you found this helpful, these articles and forums might help, too:
Article:How Your Body Image Influences Your Daughter’s
Article:Being Her Mom vs. Being Her Friend
Forum: Fashion and Style
What others are saying
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Tracy, 6/12/2009 3:43:57 PM
I have a 16 year old daughter and we have the hardest time agreeing on her wardrobe. Thank you so much for assisting me with this, what a great article!! -
Halleigh, 6/12/2009 7:31:01 PM
When girls wear low cut tops and short shirts, it sends out the wrong message to guys. If they see that a girl is wearing this, it brings the wrong attention to her. It sends out the message that inside doesn't really want to be presented. Another thing is if they dress a certain way, they will get that type of guy in the future. With teenagers these days, they are doing things younger and younger and I'm sure the sane mothers out there don't want their own daughters doing this stuff at early ages. So, what I am trying to say, is that if they are wearing inappropriate and immodest clothes they are sending that message to guys they are with and see. -
Ruth, 6/12/2009 9:17:04 PM
Thank you for a wonderful article. It is so refreshing to know that a well-known manufacturer of feminine products takes such a conservative stand. Your article is right on the money, and I am sure that many will find it to be a tremendous help. -
Jessica, 6/12/2009 11:20:35 PM
Thank you, Kotex, for this article. It is refreshing to see a company take a stand for something good or postive. It seems like there is so much outside pressure that actually pushes all moral boundaries. Kudos to Kotex for taking a positive stance! -
Akiko, 6/13/2009 1:26:47 AM
I have pre- teen daughter. I totarry agree. Thank you for this article. -
Rox, 6/14/2009 12:32:59 PM
Thank you so much for your info. I can say that I am fortunate enough to have my sister know the difference and want to cover up. She is going to be 15 and still wears shorts under her skirts and layers her tanks. I know they are exposed to alot on tv, but if you start from home and dont let them run amuck, then they will truly understand. It may be hard, but I have explained time and time again. When you get a boyfriend in HS, heck whenever, boys surely like girls who show their stuff, but the ones they take serious are those that have respect for their bodies and say NO. Keep up the good work ladies, we are living in a MTV generation and it surely is tough!!! -
courtney, 6/14/2009 2:58:18 PM
Fabulous article to help girls understand that they can - and should - be valued for who they are, not how they dress or what they look like. If a girl respects herself, and knows that she has dignity, boys will see this and will, in turn, respect her as well.
Thank you, Kotex, for supporting a true respect for females. I will make sure my friends and family know they're supporting a quality company. -
Alexadnria, 6/14/2009 8:58:05 PM
I partially disagree with this article. Celebrities aren't the main reason that teen girls dress this way. As a 14-year old, I know that the reason girls dress and act a certain way is because of guys. Most parents try to stop their daughters from wearing these things, but only being able to get a guy's attention another way is going to stop it. Most guys our age like girls who are seductive and wear little clothes. This is what causes most girls to dress this way because they think it's the only way. Parents should not only explain that it isn't the only way( to a girl), but make sure that their son isn't embracing the fashion choice. -
Anna, 6/14/2009 9:48:56 PM
What a nice article!! Thank you -
suzy, 6/14/2009 11:48:07 PM
i am not a mother, i am a teen and i see how some parents feel, this does not only apply to mothers having trouble, but with fathers as well. i know what my restrictions are with my mom, but my dad is a whole different story. but in a way, we dont always see eye to eye. we dont always agree to what the restrictions we have, and then we rebel. this is a simple way to fix the problem, and it seems like it would work. parents, keep the restrictions resonable plz, it makes it a lot easier to have a variety within our reach. but in the view of a teenager, this would work, but everything has its flaws. parents, if this doesnt work try a different approuch, anything could work, something is always going to work, say positive things.
thanks -
Brenda, 6/15/2009 8:26:16 AM
I just had a talk with my own 16 yr old daughter and discussed these points. We were shopping over the weekend and there is nothing in these stores that meets the standards. It would have been a better article if you had suggested some places to shop for modest clothing. -
Katie, 6/15/2009 9:45:48 AM
In answer to Brenda... Stay away from the malls and the Teen fashion stores. They always cater to the latest fads and fashions of teens, which are immodest, to say the least. Women's clothing stores you see in small shopping centers usually have more to offer as far as modesty goes. Sometimes even department stores will have decent choices. But, I don't want to advertise anyone in particular tho. You just have to take the time to see what your town has to offer. And don't forget consignment and thrift stores, too! Hope this helps! -
Christine, 6/15/2009 1:26:53 PM
There have only been a few times when my daughter & I can't agree on a particular item of clothing, but this article was a huge help (for the future). -
Kristi, 6/15/2009 10:55:51 PM
I loved reading all the blogs of other mothers feeling the same way as I do. This country has definitely declined morally and I tip my hat to Kotex for speaking about this issue and taking a stand. We, as women and a country, need to protect our children and do the right thing. -
Stephanie, 6/16/2009 4:11:41 PM
I really liked this article, and totally agree. While my daughters are not to this point in life (ages 7 & 3) my hubby and I are already shocked at some of the clothing styles for young girls (skimpy bikinis for toddlers? I don't think so!) It's given me some good ideas to "tuck away" and use when appropriate. Thanks, Kotex! -
gloria , 6/25/2009 2:47:05 PM
I loved this article, I have a 12,11,5 and 3 yr old daughters and I don't want to fight with my two youngest like I have with my older ones. I want a better way of us all working together. I printed this article for my two oldest to read in hopes that some of it will sink in.
thanks -
Barbara, 7/6/2009 7:28:02 PM
why don't you talk to your daughters about it -
Angela, 7/20/2009 4:18:17 PM
This is for the person above that asked about places to buy "modest" clothes... Idk where you're located geographically but my 16 & 12 yr old daughters like Deb, Dots & Kohl's... they all have really cute and "less revealing" options my daughters like, that are VERY reasonably priced when compared to a lot of places these days. And these stores have great sales. -
ann, 7/23/2009 11:12:22 PM
im 17 years old..but why my breast size too small?? -
Amy , 8/29/2009 10:02:01 AM
I totally agree with this. it seems nowadays, 2nd and 3rd graders have (expenceive) cell phones, wear makeup, (as well as the skimpyiest Abercrombie clothes), shave thier legs, have Myspace, Facebook , and AIM accounts, and are getting boyfriends- not just swing on the swings and hold your hand "boyfriends" i mean kissing and (sometimes) sex boyfriends. I am 13, (in 8th grade) and i think this age is much more appropriate to do all the above. I started shaving at 12, and started wearing eyeliner this summer. i got My cell phone in 6th grade when i went to middle school, (and it was'nt a $200+ phone, it was pretty crappy). I shop at American Eagle Outfitters, Aerie, Hollister, Victoria's Secret PINK, and PAc Sun, and my mom has no problems with my clothes. I JUST made a Facebook Page like 3 days ago, (I turened 13 a week ago) I have lots of guy friends, and we hang out and go to eachothers houses, and the movies, ( in a group, and as friends) . I think that 12, 13 ish is better for these activities because you can be waaay more mature about it. Younger kids think if a guy gives you his number or somethin that he's automatically into you. I really think 12, 13, is a MUCH better age for all this grown-up stuff. :) Hope you agree! -
Sherry , 9/5/2009 11:07:46 AM
Amy, i conpletly agree with you. My nice is 9 and she acts like my 17 year old daughter. I swear my niece wears more makeup than my daughter. My daughter has an envy 2, that she got for her birthday, and my niece has a Blackberry Storm, just because her friend got a better phone than her last one. My Nicec shops at Abercrombie and thats like the only store. My daughter shops at the same stores, amy shops at. My daughter has a Facebook, which she created going into her freshamn year, and my nicec has a Myspcace she made when she was in 3rd grade!!! It is rediculious how minimum ages keep gettin lower and lower nowadays. My Nicec shaves her legs, arms, and armpits at 9!!! it is absolutely rediculous!! Also, a friend of my niece's is 10 years ols and was expelled from school because she was involved in a drug deal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My niece wanted to go to a party just last weekend, for the last weekend of vacation, where there was no parents home!!!!! My niece makes my daughter look almost immature!! Thank you for posting your comment!! i tought i was the only one who felt that way!!
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