Being Her Mom vs. Being Her Friend
When it comes to raising your daughter, it can be hard to separate being her mother from being her friend. You want to have a well-rounded and fun-loving relationship with her, but you also want to help her become the young woman you know she is capable of becoming. Here are a few tips on how to distinguish between the roles of “friend” and “mother,” and how to build a strong relationship with your daughter.
Listen to her stories, questions, dreams, thoughts and fears as you would for any of your friends. You want her to feel comfortable talking to you about any subject, even if it’s an awkward one. Respond as a parent would – always encourage her to make the right and healthy choice. Don’t be wishy-washy. Be firm and confident in your responses and decisions, and she’ll be more likely to respect and follow them.
Respecting Her Space
You can be friendly with her friends. But try to avoid acting young or cool so they will like you; this blurs the lines a little too much and may anger your daughter. Remember, they are her friends first. Also, don’t be offended if she chooses to spend time with her friends rather than with you. Be happy that she has a good group of girls to laugh and grow with. And take comfort in knowing that, since you two are close, some days she’ll choose you over her friends.
There may also be times that she just wants to be left alone. Remind her that if she wants to talk about anything at all, she’s more than welcome to come to you. If she does want to talk, that’s great. But if not, respect her space and privacy and give her some alone time. If the two of you communicate well, she’ll be ready to talk about it soon enough.
Spending Time Together
Being her mother instead of her friend doesn’t mean you two can’t have a great time, just the two of you. It’s healthy to joke around, laugh, shop, see movies, travel or just relax together. These are the times she’ll remember most when she’s older, and they will help her to become a wonderful mother, just like you.
The truth of the matter is that someday, when she’s an adult herself, you can be both mother and best friend. Until then, being a parent is the role she truly needs you to play.
If you found this helpful, these articles and forums might help, too:
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