Having the Talk

natalie, 6/10/2008 8:24:42 PM
i have tried talking to my daughter, but she wont listen shes says that she wont get it as she is jewish!! what should i do? please help me xoxoxox

lisa 6/16/08, 6/17/2008 9:24:28 AM
my daughter totally listen 2 me i had no promblems with her

Gisella, 6/19/2008 9:44:42 PM
I had no problems talking both my girls now 21 & 17....However I now have custody of my 7 yr old niece, and it has been a very challenging, diffcult 5 months. The child did not that there is are differences bewteen girls and boys, besides the fact that boys can "grow mustaches" when they grow up. I need major help because I am working with a lot of misinformation that her mother and my mother-in-law told her. Such as...protect your body otherwise you will end up with bumps on your front??? God I need help!!!

meghan, 6/23/2008 5:43:45 PM
Concerning the woman who asked how to talk to a daughter who says she won't get her period becuase she is jewish, I would tell her everyone gets it no matter what race or religion and that if you don't get it there is something wrong with you! That all to set her straight because I'm sure she wouldn't want to think of herself as different. Also, I would get her a book on puberty for girls. American Girl makes a great one called 'The Care and keeping of you". Hope this helps!!

Lidia, 7/15/2008 11:58:35 AM
The main word with Parents is Communication, especially with a mom in this case. Learning about my period was a bit embarrassed when my mom first talked to me about it and all the changes every girl is going to go through. At first when my mom talked to me about it, I would say I wasn't ready for this or just walked away, but as I got older I realized that sooner or later I would have the talk no matter what. Learning about the menstruation cycle was helpful because I learned where it comes from or why is it important to have a period. A period comes every month or for some people every other, but a period is painful and there is no other person who is going to take care of you or even help you besides your mom. Besides every woman goes through this cycle, no matter the race or color of the skin, and if you don't have this talk with your mom, then someone else will have it with you and it might be slightly uncomfortable if another person does it besides your mom. Mom...have a talk with your teen even if your embarrassed. It helps you and as well as your teen.

Lidia, 7/15/2008 12:03:44 PM
This goes to the woman who's daughter says that she won't get her period because she is jewish, I hope you read the comment I left a while ago. I hope it helps you because I was embarrassed when i had the talk with my mom, but if you don't have it with her, then someone else might have it for you and she might feel uncomfortable for her like i said my previous article. Try to communicate with her more and the get to that topic.

Faith, 7/20/2008 6:50:18 AM
Usually in school, they hold a class for this type of thing for girls around 4-5th grade, and have them go to this class once a year. They take all the girls aside that wanted to go or had permission into a seperate classroom from the boys and explain these things to them, answer their questions, and show videos and other things. I didn't have my period until I was just about 15! So I knew all about it by then. I still had issues thinking about it and how it made me feel "dirty." I felt a bit a strayed from the other girls. Because most of them were starting to try and look sexy, wear cute under clothes-- and I felt nothing like that. I felt dirty - like something was wrong with me. I wore white sports bras, and big cotton white panties for the longest time. All I have to say now is women, please... teach your daughters that it's natural, not to feel dirty about it, and that it's part of becoming a woman. Had someone talked with me about it more one on one I would have felt more comfortable and not felt so dirty.

Denise, 7/20/2008 10:13:22 PM
There are plenty of books at the library or for purchase that a parent can use to explain her body changes. As a school counselor, it is VERY important that a child know the basics of her changing body while she is a preteen. Some girls get their first period when they are in 3rd grade so they need to know at least personal hygiene and feminine products available. My 6th grader and I talked about these changes, watched a video about it and read books regarding her changing body since she was in 3rd grade. I'd rather my daughter be informed by me first than hearing stories from kids who don't have all the correct lingo and info. My own mother taught me that the body's beautiful, coming in all shapes and sizes. Good luck to all you parents out there getting ready to take the plunge by discussing important info to your up and coming young female adults!!!

Lidia, 7/20/2008 11:42:51 PM
I agree with Faith because when I was in 5th grade I had a class where the boys were separated from the girls and there were different teachers talking to us about our hormones and periods. At first I was clue less about what it was, why we should get it every month, where does it come from and so on. These questions were a little bit confusing, but when we as girls were being informed, it was more understandable as the answers came on. All the girls got pads, deodorant, and a book informing us about our body, which was really helpful. The boys on the other hand got deodorant, a condom and a book as well. I was embarrassed to tell my mom, but I knew I had to so my mom can be prepared with me. I got my period when I was in the 6th grade, so I was already well informed about it, and knew what to do. What I didn't know is that it would be so painful. Oh my god...the cramps were tremendously hurtful.
Faith, I was one of the girls who felt dirty at times because most of my friends didn't get their period until a later time. Most of them did not even know what it was or the feeling that every girl has to go through. I just hope other girls realize that it is natural to get their period and that they should not feel dirty. A period is normal.

Caren 7/22/2008 1:03 Pm., 7/22/2008 2:05:46 PM
want if your daughter doesn't want to talk adout puderty yet and is go in to the 5th grade and well be talking adout it.

Peggy, 7/23/2008 4:54:34 PM
Hi. I'm really glad that I found this subject on the internet. It's important to talk to your daughter about these things and to prepare her for her first period. It makes it not so scary when it happens if they know ahead of time that it will happen. I loved my mother, who is deceased now. But she came from the "old school" where women and girls just didn't talk about that stuff. So when I first started my period, I was absolutely terrified that something was deadly wrong with me. She had not prepared me. So I'm glad to know that other mothers are preparing their girls for this life changing event. It's part of life, and my daughter learned in grade 5 at school. The girls were separated from the boys and both genders were well educated on puberty. I'm glad they're doing that with the kids. It's important that kids that age have the correct information and lots of support at that time in their lives. I wish I had been prepared.

Teresa, 7/29/2008 9:28:50 AM
Very informative!

Kym, 7/29/2008 11:20:22 AM
This is a great site!

Suzanne, 8/4/2008 10:09:58 AM
Mt daughter is only 10 years old and just had her first period.... I had not talked to her about this, of course I thought I had plenty of time. Has anyone else had a daughter this young start her period. I am so unprepared. I am not sure how to explain it to her as she is SO YOUNG!!!! I would have been scared to death at her age.

Katie, 8/8/2008 5:38:22 PM
My mom hasn't had a "Talk" with me. It is interesting because I feel like it will be harder to talk to her now. So definitely give your daughter the information she needs or she might have trouble coming to you.

Gail, 8/16/2008 3:51:16 AM
My daughter is ONLY 8 1/2 and just got her period. HELP!!!!

Hazel, 8/18/2008 6:34:46 PM
as a girl, i can say that it's not compleatly horrible to have ur mom talk to u about it. IN THE 5TH GRADE MY MOM GAVE ME A GIRL'S "BODY BOOK" THAT EXPLAINED EVERYTHING IN A CLEAR, NON COMPLICATED WAY. SHE TOLD ME THAT IF I HAVE ANY QUESTIONS IT WOULD BE BEST TO ASK HER. so i did when i had questions. now i have my period and we never talked about it. but don't force ur daughter to talk to u or someone else if she doesn't want to. just give her a book, and pray she's reads it. lol she willl come out with some questions sometime.

~if anybody has any ?'s about a younger person's point of view, or anything that u need help about for ur daughter, i can answer ?'s!! ~

Angie, 8/19/2008 6:30:29 AM
Gail it is normal that she has started her period, but did you talk to her about it and have you shown her how to use a pad? I am not going to say she can't wear tampons, but i would wait until she wants to swim and she is on it and then talk to her about the facts of tampons. Don't worry that much about TSS because it is very rare my daughter started the day of her eighth birthday so i know what you are going through.

Bubbles, 8/22/2008 6:48:41 PM
I am 13 and have Serious Cramps. Got any advice?

to bubbles, 8/31/2008 11:39:08 PM
there are many things that you can try to relieve cramps, i prefer taking things easy when they are very bad and just take ibuprofen and lay down with a heating pad. Others like to go for a walk or do light exercises, like stretching. You could also try taking a bath. It depends on what you feel like doing at the time and what works best for you.

Abby, 9/3/2008 3:33:27 PM
Hey everyone! Im 13, and i started my period when i was 10. I hadnt even had "the talk" yet so i had no idea what was going on! So anyways, i have a question that hopefully somone can answer! I havent had my period in about 3-4 months, and i dont know why! Im scared that somthing might be wrong, but i dont know what to do. Thanks!

snarky, 9/3/2008 7:03:20 PM
Suzanne, in regards to your question, I was 8 when I first got my period. My Mom was out of town and I thought I was pooping on myself due to illness. When she came back, she saw my undies and said I had my period but did not explain what it was, so I was really confused. A few days later she gave me a book about puberty and that was it!!! No talks ever. I am now 33 and we have still not talked about any of it. My daughter is 8 and she knew all about puberty and sex (for her age) early on so that she would be prepared. She knows if it happens at school to go to the nurse and ask for a pad, and I am also going to make her an emergency bag with some extra pads, underwear, and such. She knows to ask me any questions and has several times. I thank God that we have a closer relationship thant I did with my Mom. I hope as she gets older that will continue to be true.

marceii, 9/3/2008 7:04:35 PM
Wow...am pregnant now my first pregnancy with my daughter iam so scared because the talk will cum 1 dae....and I kno I wuld want to share and tell her the right things about that special dae that will happen hopefully 10 yrs frm now wen am 29 I culd have everythin I wanna say aleready planned

Tara, 9/3/2008 8:39:10 PM
My daughter (12) and I have a very close relationship. She often wonders when she will get her 1st period, and my answer is when your body is ready. Her friends have all started and is feeling like the odd one out. Honestly I tell her to enjoy life without it, because its so much easier :) and her time will come soon enough ..

Karen, 9/3/2008 11:03:50 PM
I remember when I first got my cycle; my mother had not spoke with me although I knew it was inevitable.
My day came and kind of fortunately I was at home; so I went to my mother's stash of womanly goods and tried to take care of business..........OH Gosh...
Now, mind you I was 16 years old (already thought I had a major problem because I had not yet menstruated and had very little development in the breast area, LOL)......all she had was those old style kotex tampons with a stick...
Good lord, have mercy, I read the instructions on the box, but, the instructions were not geared toward teens. And, the illustration showed a woman with her leg up inserting the tampon into her nether regions!
I am standing there with this thing from Hades, and I had major cramps, I felt like a truck had run me over a couple of times...I am thinking, now where in the name of God am I to insert this thing?
I knew it wouldn't fit into the area that my urine stream came from, and that there was an unknown area below it, and pushed this thing from Hades there..............OH GOD....
I could only get it like one quarter of the way into my vagina, and was cramping more by the minute. I thought to myself, I can make it till I get to school tomorrow and buy some pads from the dispenser in the girl's restroom, and my mother would not need to know or anyone else for that matter...
As luck would have it, the dispenser was out of order, the school nurse had to call my mother. My mother brought the next door neighbor, and I was extremely embarassed. I wanted to lay down and die.
Two years later, my mother had approached a cousin of mine and asked her to explain the facts of life to me and my sisters...............I was so humiliated and simply walked away. My mother came to me and said, I was just trying to get Vonnie to explain things to you and I didn't know how to do it........I said Mom, all you had to do was talk to me without anyone else around. I will never forget that experience as long as I live on this earth.
I have two girls, 26 and 6, you better believe we have a rapport.
Start early, teach them well.
Thanks for hearing me my friends.
God Bless.

Brigitte, 9/4/2008 12:54:42 PM
This is so great. I just had the talk with my daughter over the summer. She is seriously a young 12 yr. old that had no idea of the talk and what having your period really means. First she cried and then she said "OK, I am not getting married and I will adopt" How things will change I told her.-Haha
I was 13 when I got mine and still remember the TALK - but talking with my mom opened the door to always ask questions when I was unsure of everything else.
I'm not sure if that helped me be very conservitive about my body, but I do think it helps in me" thinking before doing" first.
It seriously took alot of patience to go over all the details with my daughter. She kept insisiting that she didnt need to know (She felt she would have to grow up, and she wasnt ready) but she was going to 7th grade and kids today know sooo much. Even though you know they will look at everything differently now, I explained that everyone around them knows the same stuff and have all gone thru the same thing. I really saw that that helped and she was Ok with it. Good Luck to all!! I sooo understand :)

Brigitte, 9/4/2008 1:04:26 PM
For Abby,
Dont worry. Sometimes your body isnt ready to be on a regular schedule. I really never was on time and skipped months alot. I have always been totally healthy and now have 2 beautiful kids. Since you have started and you are 13, I would advise seeing a GYN to see if you do have anything going on. Plus there is always the question, are you sexually active? Those questions you can always go over with your GYN, they are the most private docs you will have in your life. Good luck honey and w/b so we know how it turned out :)xoxo

shelia, 9/4/2008 2:49:08 PM
my 12 yr old wants to wear tampons but i think she is too young. i can see if she's going swimming but i dont think she should be wearing them every day of her cycle.

Kim, 9/6/2008 12:07:19 PM
My daughter is 7 yrs old and is very mature for her age. I am worried that she will get her period early -while she is at school and will be mortified. Should I go ahead and have the talk with her? What I worry about if I do is her going and telling her friends and then their parents being furious because their daughters know something they did not intend for them to know yet. I don't want to have to swear her to secrecy. What should I do?

Lisa, 9/9/2008 5:59:17 PM
My dughter is almost 12 and she has had info ever since she could walk in the bathroom and look under the cabinet at my box of pads and ask what are these
. I always answered her questions as they came up and never orced too much info on her at that age.
Also in 4th & 5th grade her school had a program they call MASH they seperate the boys from the girls and start to explain things to them with a video and a Q & A session. moms are encouraged to attend with their daughters and the boys with dad. The 4th grade year they learn about the changes in their bodies and then in 5th grade the go back and review that info, but then they tell about what is going on with the oposite sex. Boy does that lead to some interesting questions...The kids the next day at school are not allowed to talk about the program so as not to make anyone uncomfortable. It is a great way for some of the gigrls and boys to learn exactly what is going on with their bodies.

By the way we still havn't had a first period yet, but it is coming soon, bumps are appearinga nad legs and under arms need shaving daily it seems...LOL
I tell her be thankful for no period yet...seems like you just can't wait for it to happen, then you realize that you have to go through it for many years to come and actual y wonder why you ever wanted it in the first place...LOL

Lisa, 9/9/2008 6:13:11 PM
Kim don't worry if the parents "might" be mad.. This is something all of the girls need to know eventually...heck lots of them know just from watching tv.

If you really are worried you could simply say to your daughter..."honey what we are talking about is a sensitive and private matter, some of your friends may be uncomfortable hearing about periods and the changes in your body...maybe you might want to keep this talk just between us for awhile until you know how they feel about it."

hope that helps

Abby, 9/11/2008 3:53:36 PM
Thanks Brigitte! I will consider that and no, im not sexually active, so im really scared. Im kinda afraid to go to the "GYN" so i dont know what to do. but anyway, thanks!

Rosie, 9/21/2008 10:26:03 PM
TO ABBY
I just came on the site today and saw your letter - I hope you come back on the site to read this. You really should go to see the Dr. to make sure you don't have a medical problem. When I was an older teenager, I lost a lot of weight - as a result I didn't have my period for about a year. There are a lot of issues that can affect your period - but for your healths sake, please go see the Dr. Please let us know how you are, I am concerned for you. Does your mother know? I would want to know if my daughter was having problems so I could help her.
TO KIM,
Is the school nurse a caring person? If she is, I would take your daughter to her so she can show what she does to take care of a girl who starts her period in school. Then she'd be more comfortable about going to her, and less afraid about what might happen. Believe me, the school nurses (even in elementary schools) deal with the issue a lot, and are quite prepared to help the girls. My daughter was scared of having her period start in school - so I talked to her school nurse and was able to share with my daughter what she said, so my daughter would be more comfortable if she needed to go to her. Now she is in middle school and still hasn't started her period. She is still worried that she may start her period in the school - but as I've shared with her what she needs to know, she knows what to do. I made up a little tote bag (so she can carry it without anyone knowing what it is) with some liners, pads and wipes, panties and a little plastic bag for her to put her soiled panties in, so she can just go to the bathroom and take care of things without having to tell anybody. I also gave her liners to wear every day in case it does start. You should only tell your daughter what she NEEDS to know at her age. She doesn't need to know ALL the details - but better she gets the FACTS from you, than hears things that aren't factual from other children. Ask her if the girls at school have been talking about periods - you may be surprised to find out they are. When my daughter first started hearing about periods I asked her what was being said and had a discussion with her. Be HONEST with her - one mother told me her older daughter told her younger daughter it doesn't hurt when she gets her period. Some girls are lucky enough not to get pain, but the rest of us are not so lucky. I thought 'But what if she DOES feel pain - then she'll be really scared and think there is something wrong'. I think it's better to have your daughter prepared for whatever may happen - then she won't be so scared when it hits. I sure wish I had been prepared!! Plus, if you are honest with your daughter, she is more likely to come to you to talk.
Mothers, PLEASE talk to your daughters about their period. My mother did not talk to me - we were on vacation when I started bleeding during the night - I didn't have a clue of what was happening. I woke my Mum up - she sent me to go ask the lady we were staying with for a pad. HOW EMBARRASSING!!! I had no idea of what was going on, and then to ask a lady in front of her husband for a pad!!!
I know it's difficult to have these discussions with our daughters - but out of true love, we owe it to them!!!

Abby, 9/23/2008 5:38:46 PM
To Rosie.
Yes my mother knows that i am a little behind, but doesnt know its like 4 months behind. Thanks Rosie

nikki, 9/25/2008 10:22:16 AM
this is a great site

Lynn, 9/27/2008 9:33:18 AM
my friends have been talking about periods and everything associated with it since sixth grade. It is normal. there were always guys sitting around us and we would still talk about it using code words, like "surf" for pads without wings and "fly" for pads with wings. we have had many interesting conversations. I feel like it is important because it makes it easier if i have to ask them for a pad or tampon. It's great when your having woman problems and want someone to talk to.
There was one time last year where we had a particularly funny conversation. i was between two friends Jaimie and Chelsea and jaimie's boyfriend, brad. So, jaimie and chelsea were talking and brad was trying to listen in. So, to keep him from listening chelsea said that they were talking about womanly issues. Well. brad doidn't listen and kept listening to their conversation, so chelsea did as she said. she told him "i used my first tampon last week." i worked. brad turned away with an uncomfortable look on his face and all us girls burst out laughing. it was sooo funny and we still talk about it now

Mattie, 9/27/2008 9:53:23 AM
I have a granddaughter that is now 16, she began her period when she was 10. She has always had cramps, and now they are getting worse each month. She is so much pain until she misses school and other activities. Her doctor has not helped, nor do the pamprins and other pills.

Please help!!

Debbie, 9/30/2008 7:07:34 PM
Growing up,my mother never talked to me about anything like periods,boys or puberty.Thank God for my 2 older sisters!My eldest sister talked to me about periods and not even 3 months later, I got it .I was at her house that night and she had the supplies that I needed.Things have a strange way of working themselves out.I now have an 11 1/2 year old daughter who just got her period last month and she was well prepared.I started talking to her almost 3 years ago,as some of her friends got theres when they were just 9! I told her that when you get your period,it is the bodies way of cleaning itself out,if it happens at school,go to the nurse(now that she has it,she keeps a small bag inside of her bookbag with pads in it),if it happens at a friends house,see the mother.bECAUSE i WAS OPEN ABOUT THIS WITH HER AND SHE NEW WHAT TO EXPECT,SHE WASNT SCARED WHEN IT HAPPENED.I HAVE NOT YET HAD THE SEX TALK AND THINK I might NEED HELP IN THAT AREA!

Stacy, 10/11/2008 10:55:27 AM
Mattie, I would ask around to find another doctor to help your granddaughter. I was always pretty fortunate to not have too many problems with cramping, but I have noticed that the more active and fit I am the less cramping I have.

I do have a friend of mine that would get really bad cramps that would cause her to miss work for a day. She only got her period maybe 4 times a year, but when she got it, it was bad. She went to different doctors, and they said that as long as she got her period 3 times a year, and everything else was good, there was nothing to worry about. She's also had a hard time with finding something for the pain, because she is immune to most things like Tylenol and Ibprophene (sp?).

I hope that this helps. The important thing is to find a "GYN" or doctor who is understanding and informative. I would be concerned about the fact that they are consistantly getting worse.

I hope and pray that everything turns out okay.

I have two daughters and my oldest is in first grade. This has been helpful reading all of your suggestions and comments to help prepare me. It looks like I can start out by asking questions now on if her friends are talking about it yet, but I think that I'll wait for a more detailed talk with her for at least a year, or two, yet.

I remember that I was a freshman in high school sitting in English class when I got a really bad stomach ache that made me double over. I went to the principles office where they called my mom to come pick me up. When we got home she asked me to explain where exactly it hurt, and when I showed her the area just below my belly button, she smiled. She then proceeded to say that she didn't want to scare me, but that she thought that I may be about to start my 1st period. I then proceeded to cry. She hugged me and explained what to expect, what choices I had, and got me set up with some pads. I started over night.

I agree with someones earlier comment that the first time you go to use a tampon they are not easily explained for use with a teenager in mind. In fact, because of the experience I had trying to use one on high school, I just stayed away from them altogether, until a few years ago. And even as an adult it took two tries. This is one area that I'll be sure to discuss with my girls and help them with.

FYI: It's also important to be careful with tampons and not to overuse them. I always only use the regular size in absorbance. You can cause severe health issues if you use too high of an absorbance regularly and too often.

Kay, 10/22/2008 1:03:34 PM
My daughter is almost 12 and hasn't started yet. We've discussed it and have a plan that if she starts at school, she can call me and I'll go pick her up. Once we take care of business, I plan on taking her out to lunch and shopping for the rest of the day. My thought is that starting her period will not be cause for dread if she knows there will be a special outing!

About cramps--I had a doctor who told me that potassium can sometimes help relieve cramps. So eat more bananas during your cycle to see if that helps.

Abby, 10/24/2008 6:12:28 PM
Hey guys, thanks for the info! I did end up having my period bvut it seemed to last FORVER. if i recal it lasted for about a week and a half and was very heavy. I had horrable cramps and it was just bad. but im glad it happened. Nothing helped the cramps. i missed a day of school to just relax and cool off. Thanks for all your help everyone!!
~Abby

joyce , 10/25/2008 10:30:02 PM
what ever happened to the kotex panties i have looked everywhere

sadie, 11/7/2008 12:07:43 PM
I am 15. My mother had the talk with me when i was 8. It was a little embarrasing but she answered my questions and i felt a lot better. she showed me how to use pads and tampons. She said that it was my choice of whati wanted to use and i could talk to her anytime. at first i felt uncomfortable with tampons but i soon found that the dripping felling with pads drove me insane. so i decided to try tampons. it took a few trys but my mom was there for me. I think that if your daughter wants to use tampons, you should let her, and help her with them. i use them everyday. they aren't just for swimming, and i don't know many girls that want to go swimming with their periods anyway. when i was 14 my mom and i talked about birth control. i was not and still am not sexually active. i did have really heavy periods though, horrendous cramps that took me out of school, and some acne. now my periods are much lighter, i don't get cramps, and my acne is gone. you may think that 14 is too early for birth control but very few at my school are not on it. just let her know that just because she starts birth control doesn't mean that she should start having sex. and make sure you answer her questioins and take her to a gynacologist. they aren't scary at all and can answer some questions that your mom may not be able to. :-)

Elise, 11/14/2008 12:20:22 AM
Thank you for all your testimonies. My daughter is 9 1/2 and she has started budding and has hips. I've been wondering if she will start her period soon and when to have "The Talk". I remember getting "The Talk" from my Mom at 10 in the 5th grade as my school announced that they were going to talk to the 5th grade girls about "Periods". Although my daughter is built like me "thick and shapely", to look at her you would think she is in puberty but I didn't start my period until I was 14 and in the 9th grade. My husband's sister, her aunt , also started at 14, shouldn't GiGi start around that age as well?

Should I have the complete talk about the Birds and the Bees? I'm not sure how to do this and a little nervous. Aren't there pamphlets or videos that I can use. I want to make sure she is well prepared and comfortable with her body and comfortable talking to me about anything. We are very close and have a great line of communication but this time I need a little Help!!!

cieandrea, 12/6/2008 10:43:00 AM
this is a rely good site and I use it evryday because i thhink i need to talk about it and get my mind o

Heather, 12/9/2008 4:42:26 PM
I don't have a problem talking to my girls/kids about these types of issues, but want to know what a good/safe/early age would be to talk with my daughters. My oldest just turned 9. What's the earliest age she could realistically start? I've heard some girls start before their teen years.

Jeannette, 12/10/2008 11:12:33 AM
My daugther started her period this year and she is only 10. I over heard some moms talking about how there daughters started at 9 and I got kind of scared because my daughter wasnt ready. Now that my second daughter is 9 I have explanned it to her aswell. But they still have questions about this. What can I do to help my 9yr old not to feel so scared? she is a nervous reck.

Cristie, 12/14/2008 7:44:06 PM
I had a talk with my six year old daughter
(she'll be 7 next week ). I thought she was to young at first. But, then one day at school I overheard a mom say her girls (the same age as mine) had asked her about "the period". I knew I had to have a talk with my lil girl before somebody else at school could get to her first.
It actually went well. I only got to what a period looks and feels like. And I did tell her about puberty changing your body a little. She was exited that I was telling her "girl stuff" and that her eight year old brother couldn't hear. I told her that if anyone ever says anything to her about her period that she should always share that with me. Only Mommy can clear that up!

Jay, 12/28/2008 4:23:45 PM
I had my first period when i was 9yrs i was so scared but my mother told me i got it. She was so nervous but i understand now that my boby has change and i am now a young lady and now i am 14yrs and have pains on my belly but i am okay thanks to my mother for tell me what was going on in my body and thanks to KOTEX......*****

Sara, 1/23/2009 10:03:23 AM
To all those moms who have no idea when to talk to ur girls or how to go about it talk to ur older neices that's how I learned everything and i never uad any awkward talks with my mom just ask them to talk to ur daughter and if ur thinking oh me and my daughter r close it won't be weird just trust it was a lot easier learning that way al my friends told me that the talks were horrible and they just pretended everything was fine but trust me talk to ur older neices and have them talk to ur daughter when she starts to develop and tell them to tell her it's normal and to tell ur mom when you have it and it will be fine plus will be easier on her and you too! And when she does have her period shell no to come to you don't worry it will be fine

BeeGee, 1/24/2009 9:39:40 PM
If cramps are horrendous and ibuprofen does not touch it, ask your doctor about cataflam. I had extremely heavy periods that came only about three times per year when I was a teen. I could not have lived without it!

Esther, 2/3/2009 10:48:04 PM
Do you still publish the booklet for pre-teens which educates about menstruation? I'm interested in getting one for my (11) eleven year old grand-daughter. When I was twelve years old I was given one by my Junior High School teacher and it was very helpful and enlightening!!!

Katie, 2/6/2009 6:19:06 PM
I have a 12 yr old daughter and i talked withher about menstral and sheunderstands but....sheis afraid and does not want it to happen cause she does not want to be the first inher grade and be made fun of or get embarresed at school how can i help her to be less afraid?

jenny, 2/12/2009 1:46:44 PM
My little girl is nearly 10 and in puberty. I was a bit shocked to discover she had pubic hair, she calmly said she has had it about six months. We have since talked about her impending periods and the options of protection there are and she decided to go for pantyliners and tampons.

David, 2/14/2009 1:22:31 PM
I'm a single daddy with a daughter (just turned 10) and son (8.5). My daughter is just starting to show signs of breast buds so I really do need to sit down and have "The talk" with her. Should I talk to both my daughter and son about puberty at the same time together, or talk to them separately? I get the feeling I may need to talk to my son pretty soon too...

Mike, 2/27/2009 2:45:34 PM
It looks like most of this discussion involves Moms and daughters. I am a single father (wife died in childbirth) with a 9 year old daughter. Stacey is obviously approaching puberty (we had to go shopping for bras a month ago - where I just went cruising around other areas in the store so as not to embarass her).

How does a Father do the "talk"? I know the facts and how to discuss the physical changes, but how do I broach the subject, just to let her know I can help without driving her away in embarrassment?

I'm very frustrated, as on one hand I want the best for my Daughter, but on the other hand the public opinion is that Dads don't get involved in Daughter-Dad discussions.

My name, 3/20/2009 8:09:30 PM
For u dads with a daughter i would talk to them alone! and get a really close woman friends to visit that day and tell her she's visiting. before hand get ur the woman to discuss stuff with her while ur there then u leave and let them have some one on one time i think that would b best!!!

kim, 3/20/2009 10:12:08 PM
Our family DR told us as soon as girls start to get hair in their areas,it should be less than a year til they have a period.

to kim, 3/28/2009 1:16:46 AM
did your docter really sayy that? if so yay! i rewally want my period and i started getting hair down there around...last september! this brought my hhhhoopes up so so muchh!
~from, girl who wants period.

Savannah, 4/2/2009 7:33:35 PM
my mom gave me a talk like this and I fully understood I like being honest with her and can tell her anything That talk has made us closer

Lola, 4/3/2009 5:19:45 PM
Hey ladies...im 13
I was wondering if it was unusual for me to miss my period for 5 month? Im not pregant, right????

Rose, 4/8/2009 2:15:18 PM
Hello All! I think my daughter is embarrased to talk to me about her period. She is 11, 5'5, and 101 lbs. She is a competitive swimmer and loves the water. But anyway, I'm afraid that if I ask her to talk, she will realize what I want to talk about, and leave! Does any mom have any advice? Thanks!

Rose B.

Sean, 4/10/2009 7:33:39 PM
I'm not expert, of course, Lola, but if it really bothers you and you can't confide in your parents, ask your doctor. Best wishes. Yes, I'm a male, but a devoted father. My daughter is 8 and seems so oblivious about things. Upon today's Oprah dealing with sexuality my wife and I tried discussing things between commercials. Her typical answer? "Ew, gross." I don't know how to make her take her impending adolescence seriously, or am I pushing things? As I hit puberty at 11 I know I don't want to keep it too long. I came here for modern resources as I found excellent "vintage" Kotex resources on the net. I'm highly unqualified for such a talk I know, but I do want to help my daughter.

Hannah, 4/23/2009 7:37:38 PM
My daughter had some problems when i tried 2 talk 2 her she said i'll never start when i found out she was getting teased by the girls at school cause they have large breasts and pretty faces. she told me that one time a girl came up 2 her and said your so ugly you probably never had a boyfriend and that she would never marry that she was flat as a pancake that day she came home crying and she wouldn't talk 2 me any advice

Sandy, 5/14/2009 8:32:40 AM
I have 3 adult daughters and I custody of 2 of my grandchidren, a granddaughter, age 10 and a grendson, age 8. About 2 years ago, I went to a health fair and there was a booth set up from DHHR that had all kinds of information on teen pregnancies and on how to prevent pregnancy. I asked them about talking to my girl, how would I go about it. They gave me a couple of books, one is called, Puberty, a crazy roller coaster ride. It is a parents guide to talking to both boys and girls, and it shows the different ways their bodies are maturing. It is a good book to get. Also, I have a niece who started her cycle when she was 9. I didn't start mine until I was 13 and my oldest sister didn't start hers until she was 17. All of my girls started theirs when they were 13-14, and I didn't have the talk with them' their dad did.

Denise, 6/12/2009 4:52:23 PM
My oldest daughter was 9 yrs old and it was on Palm Sunday. Although I had already explained about the facts of life and her period, she was still surprised to see it happen to her. Her comment was "Mama my panties are bleeding". My second daughter was much more prepared because we were ready for her to start when she was 9 also. She waited until she was 12.

Sharon, 7/9/2009 2:01:01 PM
had the talk with my daughter (10) a few days ago it wasn't planned. She came into the bedroom and we were just talking about random things when she brought up the subject of body hair and that she had hair down there. We had a nice chat about the cganges and told her about the different products you can get showed her what a tampon was as that's what I use and all I had. We have since gone shopping for some bras and got her some liners so she is prepared.

lynn, 8/3/2009 12:52:56 PM
My 12 year old daughter has had her period for a few months now. She is embarrassed by it and refuses to talk about it. The problem we are having is that she seems to be in denial about it and goes as far as to not use any type of feminine protection!...nothing! She just hides her soiled panties and pants. I have tried to talk to her but she cuts me off and walks away. My husband and I don't know what to do. Does anyone have any advice for us?

sheyenne, 10/28/2009 8:52:49 PM
I'm 14 and i started my period when i was 12 and i wana start using tampons but i dot kno how 2 ask my mom. any sugestions?