Protecting Your Daughter from Unwanted Pregnancy

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Today’s teens (and tweens) are bombarded with subtle and not so subtle messages of sex. Combine that with surging hormones and its no wonder that many parents jokingly consider locking their daughters in their rooms until the threat of an unwanted teenage pregnancy passes. But alas, locking them away won’t go far when it comes to learning how to navigate their way through the world so that they can grow into the healthy mature adults we want them to be.

When it comes to protecting your daughter from unwanted pregnancy, as well as sexually transmitted diseases you must communicate with her about the facts of reproductive health. Remember, studies show that children want to hear this information from their parents, even though it might not always seem like they’re listening. Some parents think knowledge of sex leads to a loss of innocence. But a well informed girl with the support of her parents will be empowered to make better choices for herself in the long run.

Although some parents start talking about sex much earlier, your daughter should have a good understanding of the mechanics of sex and how to prevent pregnancy by the time she starts her period. It’s best that she gets her facts from you rather than the media or misinformed peers. Sometimes kids get this information in school but the best way for you to be sure she knows is to talk to her yourself. This is better accomplished through many small talks rather than one big talk. Don’t always wait for her to ask you. Take advantage of teachable moments to ask her what she thinks about a sex related topic and have her explain what she knows about it so you can be sure she’s got her facts straight.

Taking the time to be clear about your own values will help in passing them on to your daughter. Let her know if you think sex is something only adults should do or only married adults do. Set the expectation that she will wait to have sex until she is much older. Encourage her in developing her personal talents while maintaining strong family connections. If you have troubles communicating with your daughter then enlist the help of a trusted friend or family member so that she has someone to open up to.

If you suspect your daughter may be having sex or thinking about having sex, don’t be afraid to approach her in a supportive and open manner. It’s extremely important that she has a pelvic exam and uses proper birth control as well as a condom to prevent STDs. Support is also available from your doctor, the school nurse or Planned Parenthood. Also check your library for the many books on the topic of teens and sex.

Sometimes we’d like to keep our kids young forever. But the fact is that they all grow up eventually and it’s our job as parents to guide them into a healthy and fulfilling adulthood. Talking openly about sex is just as important as learning to look both ways when you cross the street.

About the Dot Girl™ Moms

Two sisters, Terri and Kathy, founded Dot Girl™ First Period Products. Who better than two women who are also daughters and mothers to honestly address an uncomfortable topic?

Their motivation to create The Dot Girl's First Period Kit™ grew from their own awkward teenage experiences. Despite the fact that their mother was a wonderful nurturer to four daughters, she was never comfortable talking to them about their bodies. They found that this is more often the rule than the exception for both moms and dads. And the reality today is that parents often find themselves in the awkward position of having avoided the subject at all costs, to the detriment of their daughters.

Terri and Kathy's goal is to provide parents with the tools they need to explain the basics of menstruation to their daughters. And for the girls, they hope to lessen their anxiety about their first period and instead turn it into a positive experience. For more information, please visit www.dotgirlproducts.com.

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What others are saying.

Ivette, 9/24/2009 7:01:04 PM
thank you, I appreciate this article. I'm glad I( read it, cause it helped me to get started talking with my teen.

mom of 2, 9/24/2009 11:30:42 PM
Thanks for the great article! I really appreciate your site.

L., 9/25/2009 1:09:34 AM
Being honest and open with our kids, about sex and sexuality, has always been a priority. They need to know that it is a natural human behavior but there are limits and, their actions can be life-changing for them. Whether it be having a child at an early age, or, much worse, catching a disease, that could end their life, with one sexual encounter, because of their carelessness.

We are very open with our kids! You have to be, these days!

Linda, 9/25/2009 7:34:37 AM
What a disappointment this article was. Talk about lowering the bar - using Planned Parenthood as a trusted resource and basically giving them all the "tools" they need to have sex? The way to help protect our daughters is to teach them that sex is designed to be enjoyed in the context of marriage and waiting for that is the healthiest choice for them emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. Giving that kind of intimacy away - sex - demeans and devalues them - that, with lots of understanding, compassion, empathy and encouragement, is what they should be hearing from us as they grow up.

Barb, 9/25/2009 9:01:13 AM
Planned Parenthood promotes promiscuity-not a good source of help!
How about telling them to wait for marriage!
Still the very best way of protecting their health!

Sheryl, 9/25/2009 11:30:02 AM
I started to talk about sex since they first day at school, in order to prevent rapes, Now my kids are teenagers and they don't want us to talk about sex anymore

Sheryl, 9/25/2009 11:35:24 AM
...my kids say that they have seen other kids pinching condoms in the nurse office, so please tell your kids don't trust them. I already knew a girl who got pregnant using those kind of condoms, and saddly her mom tooke her to abortion...

Lisa, 9/25/2009 2:03:27 PM
Thanks for the article. My daughter and I have a pretty open relationship about all of this. Unfortunately, her friend and her mother don't and this friend is starting to make some "bad choices". According to my DD she and her mom have never talked about sex and when they think it is ok to have it. I just have to figure out how to get this to her mom....

Amy, 9/25/2009 3:31:23 PM
I agree, sex for most kids is just that sex, and the next time they can do it.. Right now I have two friends one is going to be a grandmother her son is just 17 and believe me she talk not only to him but the girlfriend too.. Another friend went and watch as her 17 year old daughter choses to abort her child both of these kids will have the damage of what they did for the rest of their lives, my step son is 18 and we talked when he hit 6th grade, and he went a head and had sex twice with two different girls last year as a senior he was mad the rest of his friends were doing it until this happen to them and after knowing what his friends,did he stopped.. Thanks Linda, you hit the nail on the head with the hammer..

emily, 9/26/2009 3:19:03 PM
The best way to prevent STD's is to not have intercourse at all! It's always disappointing to hear one-sided views on how to talk to your daughter if you suspect or know that they are having intercourse. (sex really means gender)
What kind of parent would suggest birth control??? Abstinence is what should be encouraged. Sexuality is beautiful but it is a god-given gift to be used only in marriage. When you promote contraceptive devices as an alternative to sexually active young ladies, you are opening the door wide open to other evils; unwanted pregnancy and abortion. All young women must be educated to the " real truth." That they are unconditionally loved by the Creator and that they should treasure the gift they've been given, holding their bodies in high esteem, reverence, and respect.
Planned Parenthood?? The alternative-talk with a parish priest or minister or visit a christian bookstore. Love yourself enough to search for the truth-the Creator does!

V.M., 9/26/2009 10:47:24 PM
I agree 100% with Linda (9/25/2009). I was disappointed to see Planned Parenthood as part of a support for parents and teens. They not only offer all the tools to have irresponsible sex but are also responsible for most of the abortions in our country. What a shame they had to be included. Your company has lost all my respect.

Bonnie,9/28/2009, 9/28/2009 7:55:58 PM
I'm a nurse on the OB unit and see alot of young girls who have babies at such a young age 12, 13, ect. . I wish someone would have talked to them about these matters at a much earlier time in there young life. I also feel that young girls need the love of the parents and ALOT of small talks and situational proposed to the teen so they know how to handle a situtation when it arises. The article was good and I hope that it will help someone who is struggling on what to say or do with there own teen.

Marilyn, 9/29/2009 5:33:33 PM
As a mother of a 13 year old girl and also two grown daughters of 31 and 33, I am seeing both sides. I am a strong Christian person and believe that sex should be after marriage and it is best to wait. But, be real, people. My 31 year old now tells me she wishes I was more honest and open with her growing up. We have a very close relationship, but as a single mom, I pretty much said don't have sex and that's all you need to know. Education, understanding and an open relationship with your daughter is what works. Why put down planned parenthood. I had a friend growing up who got pregnant real young and aborted it in a nasty home done way. It is good she did not die. Information is important. Texas is the biggest teacher of abstinence yet has one of the highest amount of young unwed mothers.I think this article is a good one. Teach your daughter to love her body enough to where she won't want to give it away that easy. Teach her good morals and be sure she feels loved for who she is.

Amy , 10/1/2009 12:45:07 PM
Encouraging kids to wait to have sex is very important, however, kids will do what kids will do. If your daughter isn't fully prepared to protect herself from pregancy and HIV, even if you are teaching a strong message of abstinence, she's being set up to fail. How many of you had sex before marriage? How many of you used birth control? Kids say they want a strong message of abstinence AND information about birth control and STD prevention. Guess what? Study after study shows that this is what works for kids. Why on earth wouldn't you give your kids what they want and need? Saying "wait until marriage" does not work in the vast majority of cases. Did it work for you? I doubt it.

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